aubreys blog

2002-01-07T20:09:00.000-05:00

people

Have you ever met someone...and everyone else thinks they're bad, and in all reality they are or have been before...or they are bad, but they aren't when they're around you. And you just know some of the things they've done, but still, you think that there is some good in them, and for some reason you do think that? I mean, you think that to the point where it doesn't bother you to hang out with them...despite everyone else's opinion. I'm talking about someone who has a bad reputation, or is known for being mean or perverted or whatever. But, the thing is that they aren't like that when they're around you. And I mean, there are a lot of reasons as to why they may act differently around you, but, it's just, they don't treat you like anyone else. I mean, a lot of people would say you shouldn't hang out with them...but I don't know. Maybe I look for the good in people too much (if there is such thing)...maybe I do that to the point where it makes me vulnerable. ? I don't know. Just wondering.

2002-01-03T23:17:00.000-05:00

...

"...But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:10)

That is such a great verse. It's so funny...when I start trying to decide what my "favorite Bible verse" is, I realize that the Bible in its entirety is my favorite. Each verse is just another part of the big picture. Each verse has its own unique meaning, and never fails to bring out another realization to me of my faith. But that verse, Job 23:10, I really like it. It's saying that God knows what is going on in your life, and despite all the struggles and trials...that I (Job in this case) will come forth as gold...as a new and better person, or that's somewhat my interpretation. A good thing to remember.

2001-12-31T00:10:00.000-05:00

so I love music

...I REALLY do. I'm afraid I'm letting things go to waste though. I mean, I don't want to sound haughty by saying this...but I love to sing (and I'm not saying I'm good at it), and I know I love to sing, and I've sang all my life...but you just don't go around telling people that you know? And I haven't sang in church recently at all...I feel like I'm letting it all go to waste. I mean...what am I supposed to do? I want to learn how to play the piano...and the guitar...maybe I should take voice lessons. It's hard to do things with music. I mean, with sports...there are always teams you can join, and ways you can improve and ways to go far with what you like to do. It seems like with things like singing, it's harder than that. You can't just join one of the many "singing" (as opposed to "dance") studios in the town...you can't join "singing teams"...I mean. ??. And of course there are bands...but unfortunately I don't know anyone that's in one, well enough to be like "hey, I love to sing" because regardless of whether or not I love to sing, they don't know that I can. And I'm not going to be like "hey, I can sing..." because that sounds like I'm kind of full of myself...doesn't it? Well anyways.

I had a wonderful Christmas :) :). Christmas is my favorite holiday...I mean, I just love being around my family. I also got a lot of cool things :) ... a cell phone :)yay:), a cd player for my car!!, and a bunch of clothes. Sounds good. Even though that's not what matters, I'm thankful for all of that. So...I definitely had a good Christmas.

2001-12-25T00:17:00.000-05:00

chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

so it's almost CHRISTMAS!! yay :o). I hate to bring up something sad, but earlier on the radio, I heard a song that was kind of about Sept. 11th...it made me realize how many families will be spending Christmas without loved ones this year. I can't imagine that. My heart definitely goes out to them. Christmas is always such a wonderful time though. It always makes things seem brighter...even if things are bad. Things are just happier at Christmas time. For me at least.

So anyways...on the radio today, I heard that song "Angel of Mine" by Monica. I'd forgotton how cool of a song that is. I really like that song. They don't play it much anymore since it came out a while ago...but it's a good song. Do you know what's crazy? How you can see someone, and instantly have a crush on them all of the sudden, like out of nowhere. Is that like having a "crush at first site"?? Or well, not necessarily at first site, but it's like...you didn't hardly ever think anything at all about them, didn't really know them, didn't really care...then all of the sudden BOOM. You just look at them, and it's like you do a double-take. It's like all of the sudden, you see something there that wasn't there before (haha, that's a Beauty & The Beast song). That is so crazy. But is it serious? It's like you don't know what to make of it...I mean...what exactly IS that? I mean, I don't think it's like falling in love, because it's not THAT serious, but still. I guess it's just a crush. But define crush...hah I'm going to bed. I probably won't be posting in the next few days...so MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! and God bless :o).

2001-12-24T00:42:00.000-05:00

People are stupid.

I don't understand. Some people in this world are just, beyond me. So I go to this Christmas party right...well this guy I know from school invited me, his parents were throwing the party. This guy is weird...but I guess I was just too stupid to see past that. His parents were really friendly when I got there, but right off the bat I could tell that something just wasn't right. They were weird...being at their house just gave me a weird feeling in itself. So that's not the half of it. We're sitting around talking, and his dad offers me a drink. It was a blue drink, and I was told it was basically a home-made version of blue koolaid. I, assuming that your normal every day people don't offer minors alcohol, took the drink. Turns out it was alcoholic. And of course I didn't drink anymore after realizing that it was alcoholic. It was some kind of smurf drink thing?? I think that's what it's called. Anyways. Can we say stupid? What kind of idiots would willingly offer a 16 year old alcohol?? If I would've gotten into a wreck (had I have drank the whole drink), my parents could've very easily sued them. And by the way, after giving me the blue drink, they kindly (coughcough) offered me coke, or beer, or vodka, whichever I chose, to drink. The guy's mom mentioned once to the dad that I WOULD have to be driving home, I guess she was making sure he didn't give me TOO much to drink...??? WTF?? And we wonder about things these days...and I'm afraid there are a lot of people out there like that. Just, stupid! I mean, why?? Why give a minor alcohol...knowing what could happen. Knowing that MOST minors probably aren't going to drink responsibly...and above all else, KNOWING that it's against the freakin law! I mean, come on people, let's be sensible here! But I guess that sense is not as abundant among people in this world as we think it is.

2001-12-22T22:28:00.000-05:00

Championship games...and other things.

So...today was the big day. The 3A State Championship football game. And we lost. But in my opinion...it's ok. Let's analyze this.
#1. It's only high school football...definitely not the end of the world. In fact, quite far from it.
#2. Hey, at least we made it THIS far. We could've gotten knocked out in a second round playoff game or something.
#3. At least we didn't get beat too bad.
...maybe not the best three points, but hey, I tried. Anyways, I know I had fun getting to visit Chapel Hill...I'm not a tarheel fan, but still, Chapel Hill is a really good school. And it was just cool to be there. AND we got to march on the field...maybe not a huge deal, but. And I thought we did a decent job...all I can say is that we looked ten times better than the other band. So even if their football team did beat ours, at least our band looked a lot better than their band. That probably doesn't matter to very many people at all, but whatever.

So anyways. It's about 10:20pm. I am beat. And I don't want to go to church tomorrow. That is so horrible I know. It's not that I don't WANT to go, it's just...I don't know. And, I wish my parents would give me an option. I mean, they make me go...and yeah, I was going to go tomorrow because they hadn't mentioned it, but I knew they probably wanted me to, and I wanted to. But then, they decide to MAKE me go to Sunday school also. That just doesn't go over with me too well. I mean, when someone MAKES me do something, it makes me WANT to do it less. I guess that's the way it is with everything. I need to learn to just go to church for God...even if I don't necessarily like the church, or whatever other problems I might be having. Because it all comes down to God...and He's all that matters.

2001-12-21T23:34:00.000-05:00

music

songs I'm probably listening to right now...
"Holiday" --Star Ghost Dog
"Standing Still" --Jewel
"A Woman's Worth" --Alicia Keys
"Putting The Damage On" --Tori Amos
"When Doves Cry" --from the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack
"No More Pain" --Mary J Blige

**btw...all these songs are good (in my opinion) so I recommend you download them :o)

2001-12-21T21:54:00.000-05:00

Did you ever feel like...

I don't know. Did you ever feel like something was right, but at the same time, you felt like it was wrong? That's just weird. And I don't know how to deal with it. I mean...I'm thinking some thing is ok, but at the same time, I feel like maybe somehow it's not. So I just go ahead with it. Good choice? or bad? I guess I'll find out.

2001-12-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

I never knew.

I never knew that being in a dating relationship was so hard and complicated. And for those of you who never have really dated anyone...I don't think you actually know how much emotional baggage dating entails until you ARE in a relationship. I mean, no matter how many times I heard people say what a mess it could be...I would've never known until now, because now I've been there...and I kind of still am. The lyrics I just posted ("the heart of the matter...") come from a song by Don Henley called "Forgiveness," and it is a wonderful song. In the beginning of the song he sings about how he finds out that his old girlfriend had found someone else...and throughout the whole song he talks about what they went through, and how he tried pushing her away, but he's beginning to realize that it's all about forgiveness, despite the fact she doesn't love him anymore. And the song just really made me realize that it is about forgiveness...with everything, not just dating. I mean, it all comes down to forgiving and forgetting. You just have to move on...because life does go on. Well, if you haven't heard the song, I encourage you to download it.

2001-12-20T22:02:00.000-05:00

the heart of the matter...

I'm learning to live without you now
but I miss you sometimes
the more I know, the less I understand
all the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
and I've been trying to get down to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak, and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about forgiveness
even if you don't love me anymore...

more words for you to ponder :o)

2001-12-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

Holiday

imaginary friends, the ones I never made, insist I'd love their ends, and I'd be just like them...I'll write the perfect waif, the words I'll never say, I hear them anyway...just like a holiday, it's just like a holiday, so far away, it's just like a holiday, the perfect day...the ordinary ones, the ones from day to day, I guess I'd call them friends, but I'm not quite like them, and they're not quite the same, as those who never came, I hear them anyway, just like...a holiday, it's just like a holiday, so far away, it's just like a holiday, the perfect day...
--Star Ghost Dog-- "Holiday"

words to ponder...

2001-12-19T16:18:00.000-05:00

Mr. Roboto

hahah what a song!? Kudos to whoever came up with that one. Not that I haven't heard it until just now, but I downloaded it a long time ago...and I was just thinking about how weird of a song it actually is. It's amazing what a creative filter music can be. It is a great song though. 80's music is great. A lot of people would beg to differ...but I would say that 80's music is an aquired taste. The 80's really had a lot of one-hit wonders. It seems like every popular song that came out in the 80's had a different artist...who you never heard of again after their one song. funny. But I like the style of 80's music. Some of the songs that came out were stupid, but the ones that weren't stupid, were actually pretty good. That's the way it is with every decade of music pretty much though...hah.

2001-12-19T14:35:00.000-05:00

lazy days...

blah. That's the word...but it's a good kind of "blah." I just LOOOVE Christmas break. Sleeping in...doing nothing. That's the life! Speaking of my life...I have about one year to decide what I want to be when I get out of college ("when I grow up" just doesn't seem to be the right phrase anymore) AND what college I'm even going to go to. Decisions decisions. I wish I could just sing for a job. I guess I could...but if you aren't famous, you aren't usually bringing in the money. And that's not what is important, but. I don't want to be poor. I love singing though...I just think voices are the most amazing intruments ever, I mean, there are so many different styles. Every person who sings has a unique voice. I could sit in my room and sing along with my cd's all day long. *sigh* anyways. I've considered majoring in international relations...and I'm not exactly sure why, but. It sounds interesting. I like working with different people...maybe that's why a major in international relations seems appealing. Who knows.

2001-12-18T17:28:00.000-05:00

aubcheerios?

cheerios are great. I could eat them for breakfast (but that's the obvious), lunch and dinner.

2001-12-18T17:20:00.000-05:00

Templates??

so does anyone know what they are?? I feel uncreative...because I don't know how to make one! If anyone can explain it to me so it is easy, then email me!!

2001-12-18T16:37:00.000-05:00

the randomness of Tuesday

well well well...I guess this is the first entry right. Today...last day of first semester!! yay!! My classes were sooo boring...I'm glad they are all overwith. I went today after school (I had early release) and watched some of my guy friends from chs play football...hahaha. It was quite entertaining. It's funny just watching guys...and weird at the same time because I hardly understand anything they ever do or say. Hah, what girl does?? I've almost given up on having 'crushes' because guys are so hard to read...it's not worth the trouble to try and get them. If they like you and decide to try and start something with you, then that's good. But it's not worth trying to GET them to do that. But it is kind of fun :o). Anyways...it's kind of suprising that first semester is already over. No more watching movies in Espanol...no more worrying about my grade in Chemistry...no more coloring with markers during SAT prep because we never did anything. I'm looking forward to next semester though. It's kind of nice to get to be around different people for a change.