Monday, January 07, 2002 :::
 
people

Have you ever met someone...and everyone else thinks they're bad, and in all reality they are or have been before...or they are bad, but they aren't when they're around you. And you just know some of the things they've done, but still, you think that there is some good in them, and for some reason you do think that? I mean, you think that to the point where it doesn't bother you to hang out with them...despite everyone else's opinion. I'm talking about someone who has a bad reputation, or is known for being mean or perverted or whatever. But, the thing is that they aren't like that when they're around you. And I mean, there are a lot of reasons as to why they may act differently around you, but, it's just, they don't treat you like anyone else. I mean, a lot of people would say you shouldn't hang out with them...but I don't know. Maybe I look for the good in people too much (if there is such thing)...maybe I do that to the point where it makes me vulnerable. ? I don't know. Just wondering.

::: posted by aub at 8:09 PM



Thursday, January 03, 2002 :::
 
...

"...But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:10)

That is such a great verse. It's so funny...when I start trying to decide what my "favorite Bible verse" is, I realize that the Bible in its entirety is my favorite. Each verse is just another part of the big picture. Each verse has its own unique meaning, and never fails to bring out another realization to me of my faith. But that verse, Job 23:10, I really like it. It's saying that God knows what is going on in your life, and despite all the struggles and trials...that I (Job in this case) will come forth as gold...as a new and better person, or that's somewhat my interpretation. A good thing to remember.

::: posted by aub at 11:17 PM



Monday, December 31, 2001 :::
 
so I love music

...I REALLY do. I'm afraid I'm letting things go to waste though. I mean, I don't want to sound haughty by saying this...but I love to sing (and I'm not saying I'm good at it), and I know I love to sing, and I've sang all my life...but you just don't go around telling people that you know? And I haven't sang in church recently at all...I feel like I'm letting it all go to waste. I mean...what am I supposed to do? I want to learn how to play the piano...and the guitar...maybe I should take voice lessons. It's hard to do things with music. I mean, with sports...there are always teams you can join, and ways you can improve and ways to go far with what you like to do. It seems like with things like singing, it's harder than that. You can't just join one of the many "singing" (as opposed to "dance") studios in the town...you can't join "singing teams"...I mean. ??. And of course there are bands...but unfortunately I don't know anyone that's in one, well enough to be like "hey, I love to sing" because regardless of whether or not I love to sing, they don't know that I can. And I'm not going to be like "hey, I can sing..." because that sounds like I'm kind of full of myself...doesn't it? Well anyways.

I had a wonderful Christmas :) :). Christmas is my favorite holiday...I mean, I just love being around my family. I also got a lot of cool things :) ... a cell phone :)yay:), a cd player for my car!!, and a bunch of clothes. Sounds good. Even though that's not what matters, I'm thankful for all of that. So...I definitely had a good Christmas.

::: posted by aub at 12:10 AM



Tuesday, December 25, 2001 :::
 
chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

so it's almost CHRISTMAS!! yay :o). I hate to bring up something sad, but earlier on the radio, I heard a song that was kind of about Sept. 11th...it made me realize how many families will be spending Christmas without loved ones this year. I can't imagine that. My heart definitely goes out to them. Christmas is always such a wonderful time though. It always makes things seem brighter...even if things are bad. Things are just happier at Christmas time. For me at least.

So anyways...on the radio today, I heard that song "Angel of Mine" by Monica. I'd forgotton how cool of a song that is. I really like that song. They don't play it much anymore since it came out a while ago...but it's a good song. Do you know what's crazy? How you can see someone, and instantly have a crush on them all of the sudden, like out of nowhere. Is that like having a "crush at first site"?? Or well, not necessarily at first site, but it's like...you didn't hardly ever think anything at all about them, didn't really know them, didn't really care...then all of the sudden BOOM. You just look at them, and it's like you do a double-take. It's like all of the sudden, you see something there that wasn't there before (haha, that's a Beauty & The Beast song). That is so crazy. But is it serious? It's like you don't know what to make of it...I mean...what exactly IS that? I mean, I don't think it's like falling in love, because it's not THAT serious, but still. I guess it's just a crush. But define crush...hah I'm going to bed. I probably won't be posting in the next few days...so MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! and God bless :o).

::: posted by aub at 12:17 AM



Monday, December 24, 2001 :::
 
People are stupid.

I don't understand. Some people in this world are just, beyond me. So I go to this Christmas party right...well this guy I know from school invited me, his parents were throwing the party. This guy is weird...but I guess I was just too stupid to see past that. His parents were really friendly when I got there, but right off the bat I could tell that something just wasn't right. They were weird...being at their house just gave me a weird feeling in itself. So that's not the half of it. We're sitting around talking, and his dad offers me a drink. It was a blue drink, and I was told it was basically a home-made version of blue koolaid. I, assuming that your normal every day people don't offer minors alcohol, took the drink. Turns out it was alcoholic. And of course I didn't drink anymore after realizing that it was alcoholic. It was some kind of smurf drink thing?? I think that's what it's called. Anyways. Can we say stupid? What kind of idiots would willingly offer a 16 year old alcohol?? If I would've gotten into a wreck (had I have drank the whole drink), my parents could've very easily sued them. And by the way, after giving me the blue drink, they kindly (coughcough) offered me coke, or beer, or vodka, whichever I chose, to drink. The guy's mom mentioned once to the dad that I WOULD have to be driving home, I guess she was making sure he didn't give me TOO much to drink...??? WTF?? And we wonder about things these days...and I'm afraid there are a lot of people out there like that. Just, stupid! I mean, why?? Why give a minor alcohol...knowing what could happen. Knowing that MOST minors probably aren't going to drink responsibly...and above all else, KNOWING that it's against the freakin law! I mean, come on people, let's be sensible here! But I guess that sense is not as abundant among people in this world as we think it is.

::: posted by aub at 12:42 AM



Saturday, December 22, 2001 :::
 
Championship games...and other things.

So...today was the big day. The 3A State Championship football game. And we lost. But in my opinion...it's ok. Let's analyze this.
#1. It's only high school football...definitely not the end of the world. In fact, quite far from it.
#2. Hey, at least we made it THIS far. We could've gotten knocked out in a second round playoff game or something.
#3. At least we didn't get beat too bad.
...maybe not the best three points, but hey, I tried. Anyways, I know I had fun getting to visit Chapel Hill...I'm not a tarheel fan, but still, Chapel Hill is a really good school. And it was just cool to be there. AND we got to march on the field...maybe not a huge deal, but. And I thought we did a decent job...all I can say is that we looked ten times better than the other band. So even if their football team did beat ours, at least our band looked a lot better than their band. That probably doesn't matter to very many people at all, but whatever.

So anyways. It's about 10:20pm. I am beat. And I don't want to go to church tomorrow. That is so horrible I know. It's not that I don't WANT to go, it's just...I don't know. And, I wish my parents would give me an option. I mean, they make me go...and yeah, I was going to go tomorrow because they hadn't mentioned it, but I knew they probably wanted me to, and I wanted to. But then, they decide to MAKE me go to Sunday school also. That just doesn't go over with me too well. I mean, when someone MAKES me do something, it makes me WANT to do it less. I guess that's the way it is with everything. I need to learn to just go to church for God...even if I don't necessarily like the church, or whatever other problems I might be having. Because it all comes down to God...and He's all that matters.

::: posted by aub at 10:28 PM



Friday, December 21, 2001 :::
 
music

songs I'm probably listening to right now...
"Holiday" --Star Ghost Dog
"Standing Still" --Jewel
"A Woman's Worth" --Alicia Keys
"Putting The Damage On" --Tori Amos
"When Doves Cry" --from the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack
"No More Pain" --Mary J Blige

**btw...all these songs are good (in my opinion) so I recommend you download them :o)


::: posted by aub at 11:34 PM